


blue, the warmest color

by moriphyte



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m missing something. I’m all messed up. I’m crazy.”<br/>-Blue Is The Warmest Color (2013)</p><p>Lapis is majoring in fine arts but really she just likes to paint and listen to bands no one has ever heard of<br/>Peridot is majoring in graphic design but really she just likes to play video games and curse into the headset<br/>They share a little one room apartment and art studio with their dog, Pumpkin<br/>It's a small space, but its home</p>
            </blockquote>





	blue, the warmest color

**Author's Note:**

> just writing about my favorite su girls while I watch Blue is the Warmest Color because I'm gay as shit. The way that Lapis does her schoolwork is how I used to do it, no sleeping no eating, everything last minute (and yet I was still an A student but thats another story). Also Art Angels is a great album and yall should listen to it, I think I'm in love with Grimes

"Lapis I'm home!" Peridot calls  
You hear her distantly, through the music in your ears, but you don't move, keeping your blue eyes focused on the canvas in front of you  
"Lapis are you okay!?"  
You groan and pull out one of your earphones, sitting up on your stool and turning to face the doorway  
"Yeah!" You call  
She enters the room a moment later, bleached blonde hair pulled up into two little buns on top of her head. There's a pencil and ink pen in one and the other is sort of falling down but you still think she looks cute.  
"Hey" she says, smiling at you behind her glasses   
"How was class?" you say back, pulling out your other earphone   
She rolls her big green eyes behind her glasses and groans, dropping her yellow Kanken on the worn wooden floor of the studio apartment that you share   
"Ms. Diamond is getting ready for an art showcase so her stupid assistant is teaching the class" she says, kicking off her clunky yellow boots and heading to the kitchen  
You turn to follow her with your eyes, "the one with the voice?"   
Peridot nods and yanks open the dinky little fridge, leaning down to dig inside, "that's her"  
"Yeah I remember here, isn't she Pearl's sister or something" you say  
"Cousin" Peridot says, straightening up and closing the fridge. She sets the pitcher of that powdered pink lemonade you made yesterday morning on the counter and stands on her toes, reaching into the cabinet to get a glass  
"Isn't there another one too?" you ask, watching as she struggles to reach  
"Yeah you know her, always has her hair in her eyes, big sweaters, typical illustration major" she says, finally getting hold of the glass.   
She sets it on the counter and lifts the already half empty plastic pitcher up to pour some lemonade in the glass.   
You smile, "yeah she's in my figure drawing class, girl can bend all kinda ways" you say  
"I think that runs in the family" Peridot says, referring to Pearl, who is the top dancer at your school   
You nod, "yeah, have you ever seen Pearl do like, anything?"   
Peridot takes her glass and walks over to the small futon, setting her glass on the cluttered coffee table and plopping down, pulling her feet in her alien socks up against her, "of course I have, it's ridiculous. She can do a split and I can't even go a day without loosing my tablet pen"   
You laugh as she takes a sip of her lemonade, looking around for the remote   
"It's here" you say, picking it up from the small table beside your canvas stand and holding it up   
You make eye contact and nod to her, she nods back and you toss it  
She's the smartest girl you know, her abilities with programing still amaze you and she's got to be the top student in your class academically, but she's got terrible coordination   
The remote smacks her right in the face, despite her very real attempt to catch it, and knocks her glasses askew   
She curses, putting her hands up to her small upturned nose and looks up at you, glaring   
You hold back a laugh and shrug, "sorry, not my fault you can't catch for shit"  
She doesn't say anything back to that, just flips you off and snatches the remote from the futon beside her, turning on the tv  
You smile at her, "love you"   
She glares at the tv, shoulders hunched up to her ears, "fuck off"   
Now you do laugh 

  
You spend the rest of the night working on the painting you have due for your morning class and trying not to be too distracted by Peridot.   
She's about as distracting as it gets, she has no sense of personal space and for someone so small she is loud as fuck. She walks loud, talks loud, eats loud, its awful.   
Finally Peridot brings out her books and starts working on her homework, leaving you to turn up your music and concentrate on your painting. You're working with oils and you think you might be in love, with Peridot of course but mostly with the oil paints. The way they feel on the canvas, the way they blend together, how you can lay them on thick and textured or make them so smooth you can barely see the brush strokes. You love it.   
You paint for the rest of the night, listening to the Art Angels album by Grimes on repeat while you go through what is probably an unhelathy amount of cigarettes but hey, you're stressed.  
At some point Peridot asks you if you're going to go to bed. You shake your head no. She has already finished her work and is playing around on her laptop, watching late night anime on Adult Swim.   
"You need to sleep, Lapis"   
"Can't, this is due tomorrow"   
"It is tomorrow"   
"You know what I mean"   
"You don't get enough sleep" she says after a pause   
You shrug, "what's an art student without a severe lack of sleep"  
"You don't eat enough either"   
The smile drops from your lips and you lower your brush from the canvas, "so?"  
"So? So you need to eat Lapis, why can't you do like, basic fucking things you need to be healthy?" she demands, sounding almost angry now   
You shrink, looking away from her "I'm trying"   
She groans and puts her head in her hands, "I know"   
"I'm sorry" you say after a pause   
She doesn't say anything, just sits there with her face in her hands. Finally she sighs and runs a hand through her blond hair, "don't be sorry, it's not your fault"  
"Then who's fault is is?" you ask  
"It's Jasper's fault" she says  
You flinch and she sees that, immediately realizing what she just said, "Lapis I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"  
"It's fine Peri, I can handle hearing her name, it's not like I don't still think about her" you say  
"I know but I shouldn't have said it" she says  
You give her a tired smile, "really, it's okay, I might be fucked up but I can handle hearing a name"  
"Yeah but its _her_ name" she says   
You sigh and drop your paintbrush into the jar of mineral spirits sitting on the table beside you, jumping down from your stool and crossing the small space to sit down on the couch beside Peridot   
"Peridot she didn't make me this way" you say   
"Yeah well she sure as fuck didn't help" she says angrily   
You bite your lip, looking down at your arm where it sits against your leg. It's thin, almost sickly so, and you can see both old and new scars against the pale skin, "yeah, I know"   
"Then why are you making excuses for her?" Peridot demands, turning to look at you   
You wrap your other hand around your wrist, "I'm not, you're right, she did treat me like shit, but I did a lot of shitty things too"   
"Not like she did though" she says, anger still in her voice   
You stare at your arm and think about all the times those large, strong hands would wrap around them and pull. All those times she pushed you and told you you were weak but you don't flinch until you think about what you said back. You sigh and look up at Peridot, smiling tiredly, "lets not talk about her anymore"   
Peridot nods, "of course, I'm sorry I brought her up"  
"Really Peri it's okay, I'm okay" you say, putting your hand on her arm   
She glances at your hand where it rests on your arm and then up at you, "I just worry..."   
You smile, "I know, and thank you for that, it's more than anyone else but Steven has ever done for me"  
She smiles back and leans forward, wrapping her arms around you and burying her face in your shoulder   
You weren't expecting it but after a moment you relax and hold her back, laughing into her hair, "love you Peri"  
She doesn't answer right away and when she does it's muffled by the material of your shirt but you can still hear it as she says, "love you too Lapis"  
 


End file.
